Easily Entertained
by sillybella
Summary: Exactly how do the Cullens tease Edward before he goes to watch Bella sleep? Comes before Her Worst Nightmare.


Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

After I posted the story _Her Worst Nightmare_, genealogygirl and bronzehairedgirl wanted to know what the other Cullens were saying to Edward about watching Bella sleep. I love it when the Cullens tease each other. So I wrote this.

Also, while you don't have to have seen _The Hunger_, an 80s vampire flick, to understand the massive reference to it, it probably will make that reference more interesting. It's directed by Tony Scott (Ridley's younger brother and sometimes partner – their Scott Free Productions gives us the Epps brothers on _Numbers_ each Friday and Ridley is known for _Blade Runner_ and _Alien_). The film brings together the unlikely trio of Catherine Deneuve, David Bowie and Susan Sarandon as some nontraditional vampires. It's visually appealing, has a great soundtrack and is one movie that is much, much better than the book. Oh, and Miriam Blaylock is Catherine Deneuve's character in the movie.

_**Easily Entertained**_

by silly bella

"What's on the agenda tonight, bro? A little hunting? A little X-box? We could watch _The Hunger_ again. I wish Susan Sarandon and Catherine Denueve were vampires." Emmett sighed. Of course, if Rosalie heard that last remark, he was in for some trouble. She'd never gotten over his reaction to that movie, or more specifically, to Sarandon and Deneuve as a vampire couple.

I had no desire to watch that movie with him ever again. I'd seen the reaction in his head too many times to even want to watch that movie by myself again. And, as vampire movies go, it wasn't totally ridiculous. No fangs. Nice beds. Sleep issues. No combustion from the sun. The book was miserable. True pulp fiction. But the movie? Sarandon, Deneuve and David Bowie made for some intriguing vampires. And Tony Scott directed it with aplomb, turning a cheap novel into a much stronger story by concentrating on the aspects of love within the element of horror. And of course, _I _could relate when Sarandon's character explored her horror at becoming a bloodsucking fiend.

Then there was the music: a fabulous mix of classical, opera and punk. The _Flower Duet_ from _Lakmé_ – long before it started turning up in half of the commercials out on television. And of course, Bauhaus's classic, _Bela Lugosi's Dead_. That had to be from Bowie's recommendation. I'd loved the movie. Until I watched it with Emmett. The places his mind went during the love scene between Sarandon and Deneuve. _I wish I could burn that right out of my memory._

Emmett was grinning at me, waiting for a response. "I think I'll pass tonight. I have other plans." He looked disappointed. Jasper snorted.

"And would those other plans have anything to do with watching a certain human _sleep_?" He continued to chuckle under his breath.

Alice elbowed him. _Sorry, Edward, I saw it, and I mentioned it to him. It is starting to be a rather boring vision. Me watching you watching her sleep._

"Et tu, Alice?" I raised my eyebrows. She gave me a sickly, self-incriminating smile and ducked her head.

_Why do they care if I watch Bella sleep? What is it to them?_

Emmett tilted his head as if something had just occurred to him. "Exactly what does she _wear_ when she sleeps? Is that what it is? Some little slinky lace number? Or nothing?" His mouth dropped, "Oh, man, does she sleep in the nude? That's gotta' be it!"

I couldn't stop the growl from erupting. But it wasn't me that put a stop to Emmett's vivid imagination. _Whack! _Rosalie's hand crashed into the back of his head with amazing speed. She hadn't even seen into his mind and she didn't like _that _particular train of thought. It was my turn to snicker.

She narrowed her eyes as she looked directly at Emmett. "I heard you earlier, talking about _that_ movie while I was upstairs. You can only watch it if you call me Miriam Blaylock the rest of the night."

Emmett broke into a beaming grin. "Anything you say, Miriam."

I hung my head and tried to block out the thoughts. Even Jasper rolled his eyes, and he could only feel the emotions. "You two are feeling so sweet I'd throw up if I weren't a vampire."

"Well at least we'll both be _awake_," Rosalie spat out. "Any chance of her dad arresting him as a peeping Tom, Alice?"

A blend of laughter filled the air: Alice's high-pitched giggle, Jasper's throaty chuckle, and Emmett's deep snorts of amusement. Alice shook her head. "I don't think so."

"I love Alice," Jasper decided to really join in the fray. "But I don't know that I would enjoy watching her sleep. I mean, if she did sleep. Maybe one night of it, but not night after night after night." He shook his head, laughing. Then, in a low voice, he called for Carlisle, who immediately came downstairs to join us in the living room. "Do you know any vampires who are shrinks? We've decided Edward's gone a little off, watching Bella sleep every night."

_It's nice to see that things are getting back to normal. You holding your own here, Edward?_ Carlisle eyed each person in the room perceptively. Then he shocked me. _You know, it is a bit odd, Edward. I'm not sure it's entirely healthy._

"It's healthy for Bella," I muttered. "What if Victoria showed up?"

"Victoria ran away from Alice." Rosalie laughed. Alice narrowed her eyes. "I just mean that if she's scared of Alice, alone, why would she show up with all of us here? She knows that we killed James and the wolves took Laurent down; do you really think she's stupid enough to show her face here again? Besides, Alice would see her coming."

It was a cheap shot, but I took it, "I wouldn't rely totally on Alice's visions if I were you, Rosalie." I winked at Alice, who was biting her lips to keep from laughing.

"Okay, let's look at it this way. How many hours does she sleep at night? Seven? Eight? You are spending more than fifty hours a week watching her sleep." Emmett shook his head. "That's not normal."

Rosalie smiled gratefully in his direction then turned to me with a saccharine grin. "Since when has our _dear_ Edward been normal?" she smirked.

"I don't just 'watch' her sleep," I muttered, ignoring Rosalie.

After clearing his throat with great affect, Jasper raised his eyebrows and asked, "So, what _do_ you do exactly? While she's there asleep." Across the room, Emmett sputtered.

A growl erupted from my chest. "It's not like that, and you know it," I spat out. "It's just…she's human. She sleeps. When was the last time you were around someone who slept? Could hear each breath, each heartbeat?"

"When Emmett and I went to Africa, there was an old man on the plane. He slept." Rosalie shuddered. "We couldn't escape his breathing. He snored the whole time. He sounded like a congested pig. I didn't care to listen for his heartbeat."

Emmett snickered. "It's true," he gasped through the laughter.

My chin hit my chest and I shook my head from side to side. "You can't possibly understand. Obviously, you have no idea what I'm talking about."

I felt rather than heard Esme enter the room. She wrapped her arm around my shoulder. "I understand, Edward," she whispered. To the others, she said, "He's talking about love, and it doesn't always make sense." Her eyes rested on Rosalie and Emmett as she stated, "And what makes sense for one person, or one couple," she shifted her gaze to Alice and Jasper, "doesn't always make sense for anyone else." Carlisle met her eyes as she continued, "But love is love, and once you find it, you'll do anything for it," finally she found my eyes again, "even things that others find strange."

As she pulled away, she ran her fingers though my hair. _Do what you need to do, Edward. Listen to your heart, not to your siblings. _

Esme always knew the right thing to say. Not just to me, but to all of us. I hugged her, then turned to the others and said quietly, "I'll see you in the morning." Then I left. Bella was waiting.


End file.
